H809-28. ECA first draft

I spent long hours Saturday, Sunday and yesterday to knock out a 4000-word draft. I followed an 'expanded version' of a research proposal outline I found on the Internet, which was an enormous timesaver. I realise that the tutors do not want to impose a certain format on us, but I do think that, contrary to the feedback given, there is a standard format for writing research proposals. I always spend the greatest part of my planning time figuring out how to organise the dozens of articles I've read, so for me, a model is essential, even if I later modify it to suit my own purposes.

Well, I'm of course relieved to have a draft I can show to my tutor and (hopefully) get (timely) feedback on, but I'm not entirely happy with it and will work on it for a few more days before asking for comments. I think I need more transitions between the two parts of the literature review, 'Blogging in higher education' and 'An outline of activity theory', as well as from the literature review to the methodology section. As always, the word limit was confining; I needed more space to do the literature review justice. As it was, I just concentrated on a few crucial themes and what I see as lacking in the literature. I get really annoyed with the 'cut-and-paste' technique used in the background sections of so many research papers. They give the impression that the studies they cite really back up what they say, but when you track them down and read them, they actually provide very little empirical support. I guess I am at the point in my development as a researcher when I just don't find a bit of 'positive feedback from students' good enough anymore. A few extracts (most likely chosen to support the researcher's agenda) from the data no longer easily convince me. That is why I loved Krause's article ('When blogging goes bad: A cautionary tale about blogs, email lists, discussion and interaction') so much: it was so practical, so honest. Sometimes these research studies are a bit over-dressed.

I am happy with what I have learned from reading further papers on blogging in preparation for this assignment, and I am also confident about the blog design I am going to use next semester - the design on which my proposed study is based. I feel more confident that students are going to engage with it, and I also feel confident that activity theory will help me to identify the reasons for anything that may go wrong. For the first time, I am giving my students more autonomy to blog. I wasn't ready to let go before and clung to the idea of the central class blog. I am really curious to see if they will be inspired to use their blogs creatively.

H809-27. Activity theory rules the day

How interesting - and how typical of me - that the theory of which I was the most sceptical/dismissive of at the outset is the theory I have now chosen as the analytical framework for my ECA! I blogged before about my initial thoughts on activity theory. At that time, I found Jonassen and Rohrer-Murphy's massively long list of questions mind-boggling and absurd. Now I am seeing them as potential questions to guide me through an analysis of my data...

I have decided to apply AT to student blogs. For the first time next semester, I will ask students to keep their own blogs rather than contribute to a class blog. I will also keep a blog, à la Jo Iacovides - I will summarise and comment on what is happening on students' blogs. Thanks for that idea, Jo and H809!

I predict that I will find serious contradictions in the various relationships between the components of the activity system, which will account for why (some) students don't use their blogs or 'hate' blogging (read 'hate homework' and 'hate expectation'). I think this sort of overall evaluation will enable me to make a decision as to whether it is really worthwhile to continue to try to integrate blogging into my particular educational context. If I do have to abandon it, I reckon it will be time to change jobs, as I wish to work in a university where the system encourages and the students value formative learning opportunities. Trying to take a social constructivist approach in an exam-based culture is like trying to walk across a ceiling.

H809-26. Unexpected relief

I got answers to my questions! I can proceed with my research and writing. I just needed that little bit of confirmation.

H809-25. Struggling on

I eventually finished TMA 03, but getting answers to my queries just days before the due date did not improve my mood, and the 'answers' I got must remain in quotation marks because for the most part, they were simply reformulations of my questions! But somehow, miraculously, I got the paper done on the Tuesday and submitted it on the Friday before the due date, as planned. I say miraculous because it turned out that I did indeed need to do extra reading. Thankfully, Jo stepped in to give me some advice about not overdoing it for the number of points on offer, and so I didn't. I have to say that I could not have done this TMA without Rhona's and Vic's comments - the early ones I mean, because the later ones were posted too late for me to make use of them. How fortunate that I visit all three discussion forums, right?!

So on to the ECA and more frustration. After a prompt response to my initial questions, my tutor is now 'off the boards' for a few days to mark TMA o3! I already feel like 4 weeks is not enough time to do this proposal justice - as I actually intend to carry out the study next semester and need/want to do a good job. We were advised to 'answer each others' questions.' I'm sorry, but especially at this point, I need to rely on the expertise of - well, the experts. No offence is intended by that. But I think we pay a lot of money to learn from people who have published extensively within their fields. Of course morally supporting each other is important, and we can exchange ideas, but there is a limit to what we can gain from that method. At some point, the tutors have to acknowledge their directional role. I mean, if I saw that my students were struggling, having made a sincere effort to work things out for themselves, I would try to guide them! And not with more of the same questions - at times, input is actually required.

If this sounds harsh, it is but a pale reflection of what I want to say, but I am ever mindful of my (unknown) audience. I have seen now at firsthand that feedback takes on a far more crucial role in a completely online environment. I have mentioned before that I am doing another postgraduate degree by distance at the same time as this one. I cannot say enough good things about that course. Even the librarians read our posts and contribute where appropriate! No flabby thinking goes uncommented on; not only are our thoughts about translation being shaped, but also our use of vocabulary to talk about the field. This is done in a firm but supportive manner, and it is simply fantastic. The tutor is so involved in the course and is keen to share her experience and expertise. I have never had to wait for more than a day for an answer to a question. Students are not left to flounder; contributions are acknowledged, and guess what! In a single course, we have posted 1200 comments, and more keep coming even though it's the end of the semester when students are busy writing their essays! (I got mine done early, what a relief!)

Now, I'm not saying I hold the Open University to the same standard, since it operates in a different context and I have learned to be conscious of such things on this course, but -

- but - I think that through frustration, I am increasing my expectations rather than lowering them.

Anyway, I will not give up easily, and I will not let anything defeat my goals. I am undertaking these two degrees in preparation for my PhD and nothing is going to dissuade me from following this path.

I just hope the Open University will be 'open' to the (constructive) criticism I am planning to send at the end of the course.

H809-24. Getting the hump

Has everyone on H809 disappeared into a cyberhole?

I emailed my tutor for clarification of TMA03, I believe over a week ago now. I simply cannot be sure what is meant by 'summarising the contexts of the research, with appropriate references to previous research.' About 2 or 3 days later I got a reply saying she would need to consult with the rest of the team on my queries. I am still waiting, and in the meantime I have posted my pleas in all three tutor groups. I have now lost a good 8 or 9 days of work for lack of reply. I fail to see what is difficult to answer? In any case, I expect a prompter comeback. I did not take on this course lightly. It is a huge time and financial commitment for me and I would not have started if I hadn't intended to do my very best. I don't expect others to be at my beck and call, but from the beginning I have completed every activity and I have posted regularly in all three tutor forums. I had high hopes, but slowly and reluctantly I am starting to lower my expectations and to doubt whether I am willing to continue with the Diploma, even though it is extremely important to my personal development, if the communication is going to be this lacking.

And this has nothing to do with distance learning; I am doing an MA by distance learning through another UK university, and the communication and response have been stellar. Since the Open University are known for their pioneering work into this form of learning, this would seem a decided irony.

Obviously I do not wish to offend my audience, but neither do I wish to continue bottling up what I have been experiencing these past couple of weeks. This is as diplomatic as I can possibly be at this point in time.

H809-23. I must, I must

stop obsessing over these forums. I am clicking on them endlessly. It's like I have nothing else in my life! I feel so bloody bored without a big pile of work to do. It's nearly 18.30 in England, so somehow I don't think I'm going to find the magical key to the TMA tonight. Just close down the windows!

H809-22. Back to frustration

Well, I see I haven't posted anything here for awhile. That's probably down to my frustration with various aspects of the course and not wanting to seem as if I'm laying blame all around. This is the problem with blogging, at least with Blogger; I need some posts to be private.

In any case, I only need to write about 250 more words to finish TMA03, but I cannot finish it because I cannot understand exactly what is meant by "describe the context of the research with appropriate references to previous research." It seems to me like this is asking us to simply re-cite studies which were mentioned in the literature reviews of the two papers, which doesn't make much sense. Alternatively, if we are expected to do further research, I need to know this quite soon in order to schedule time for it!

I started this paper 3 weeks in advance because I have other papers to write, not to mention a heap o' marking coming up with the end of my teaching semester AND two wedding parties to plan. Tuesday was a holiday in Turkey and I had high hopes of finishing it, but I remain stuck. Communication has become more and more sporadic on this course...I have kept up with every single thing from the very beginning and I'm trying not to deflate.

H809-21. 2009 words

+ a lot of dissatisfaction with my section on Activity Theory = the current state of TMA 02.

H809-20. Nightmare

I have cut down my original ambitious outline to just two theories, and still I am running into trouble with the word count. I have just started discussing the second theory and the paper is almost 1500 words long! This was after I ruthlessly chopped up the already tiny bit of background of sociocultural theories I felt able to get away with.

It is really difficult to write a good paper while panicking about the word count. It makes you second guess every single word you put on the page and seriously interrupts the flow of ideas. I am spending most of my time trying to pare down previously written paragraphs to free up space.

H809-19. Days of stress come to a sudden halt

I have had a rotten, throbbing headache for the past three days. Every time I thought about the assignment, it got worse.

What a relief then to read the clarification of the assignment posted by our course chair...

Now I can focus on writing a good paper rather than a stretched-thin, superficial and unconvincing one.

I might even get to enjoy next week's Turkish holiday and extended weekend.

WAY-HEY!!!